Swiss Chocolate

Chocolate is all that she wishes

She adores all that Swiss is

I brought her a box

But she quick changed the locks

Guess I’ll go sleep with the Mrs.

Mary Jane Who?

A re- hab center for the upper class

Gave help to many a lad and lass

But it came to an end

When a landscaper friend

Posted signage, “Keep Off the Grass”

Spiced Out

There once was a soldier named Dee

Who fought on the land and the sea

With mustard was gassed,

And pepper spray blast,

A well-seasoned veteran is he.

No Tax Due

I stopped for pint in a mason

He said, “They’ll be no tax today son!

I’m an atheist now,

If yer wondering how,

We’re a non-prophet organization!” *

*  Atheism is a non-prophet organization - George Carlin

Litterally Absurd

A dog by the side of the road

Whelped out her cute little load

A copper who saw

Reeled off the law

Cited for littering I’m told

Cultivate Safety

When joining a cult one expects

To link up with those he respects

But some cults are bad

And though it is sad

One must ever practice safe sects!

Change of Pace

A boy found some coins in Tibet

And swallowed them down on a bet

Mom, who was brewin’

Screamed, “How’s he doin’?”

The Doc said, “Sorry no change yet!”

Getting Ahead

Two hats at a real posh spread

Owned by a baker of bread

One said to the other

“I’ll tell you what brother,

Wait here, I’ll go on a head!”

Baseball Anyone?

I wondered why the balls I see

While standing up to bat with glee

Just keep getting bigger

When pitch pulls the trigger,

Then finally it hits me!

Limerick

A Limerick is a fun little verse!
By design it is simple and terse.
With two lines that rhyme,
Two more out of time,
And a fifth one that sounds like the first.

2009

Awakening

A dashing young bookworm from Cook
Did fine until he mistook
That fiction and fable
Will put food on the table.
You can’t eat the page of a book!

KaWhooosh!

There once was a young man from Brittany
Whose talents would make quite a litany.
But they all went for naught
When this young man forgot
Not to smoke in a field of White Dittany!

2008